Bullying vs. Peer Conflict

Hi Beacon Families!

During our last classroom guidance cycle I discussed the differences between Bullying and Peer Conflict with every grade level.  These two concepts often get used interchangeably; however, there are distinct and important differences. It is important for students to be able to identify each and know what to do about both.  

All Grade Levels

We defined Bullying as:

*  one student having significantly more power in the problem then the other student

*  physically trying to hurt someone

*  name calling or teasing, by the same student, over and over again 

*  Leaving someone out on purpose over and over again

We defined Peer Conflict as:

*  each student having equal power in the problem (more like a disagreement)

*  annoying behavior (tapping a desk, humming, etc.,,)

*  an accidental incident (vs. purposely hurtful)

*  an incident happening only one time (vs. an established pattern)

I presented a Richland Two mandatory PowerPoint with each class on "Bullying and Inappropriate Behavior".  After our discussion and PowerPoint I gave students several scenarios to "quiz" them on identifying whether an incident was bullying or peer conflict.  We also discussed how to handle each.  I instructed students to always report to an adult when bullying is happening to them or to someone else.  We talked about different appropriate adults to report to but that the first person to report to will most likely be the teacher they are with, simply because it's best for the nearest adult to address the situation as quickly as possible.   We talked about how it's important to try and either ignore or problem-solve things that fall into the "annoying behaviors" and/or "peer conflict" categories first before asking an adult for assistance.

To end our lesson together, we talked about the differences between Reporting vs. Tattling.  This is often a challenging concept for many elementary aged students.  I emphasized that "telling", when it's important, is called "reporting".  Some students are hesitant to report in fear that they might be called either a "tattle-tale" or a "snitch".  I reminded them that if it's a matter of safety for them or someone else, it's always more important to report the situation to an adult even if someone calls them a name for doing so.  I emphasized safety is always more important than anything else.

5th Grade

The following YouTube video is a great review, or connection piece, for 5th grade teachers to follow up during class time or morning meeting.  It can also serve as a great conversation starter with your child at home.

1st Grade

For this grade level I included a fun book about bullying to help keep the students engaged and the topic relevant to their developmental level.  We read Llama Llama and the Bully Goat by Anna Dewdney.

Kindergarten

For this grade level I included a Howard B. Wigglebottom social story on the smartboard from The We Do Listen Foundation website.  We watched Howard B. Wigglebottom Learns about Bullies.  You can access these wonderful social stories at:  https://wedolisten.org/media/

Hi Beacon Families!

I'm so excited to share with you some of the fun activities and lessons we've had so far!  As the school counselor, I have the pleasure of getting to know, and working with, each grade level at Bookman Road Elementary.

At the beginning of each school year I like to re-introduce myself to each class and what I do as the counselor.  I show students how to complete and submit the "self-referral" form if they need to see me during the school year.  I see all classes about every 4 weeks so be sure to check in again to see what new 'counselor connections' we're making this year!

GRADES 2nd, 3rd, 4th, & 5th

Students learned how our words and our actions cause a 'ripple effect' around us.  Just like throwing a stone into still water causes a circular ripple effect,,, we learned how the same happens with the choices we make, the words we use, and how we treat other people.  Each student received a blank sheet of paper.  Every time we came up with hurtful examples of things people say to one another we'd all crumple a small area of our paper.  Once papers were completely crumpled, I talked to students about how and why we apologize.  Students learned that by saying we are sorry and showing we are sorry we are "straightening" the problem and hurt feelings back out. I then had students flatten out their papers as much as possible.  I then held up a paper heart that had been crumpled up but straightened out and a paper heart that had never been crumpled at all.  I remind students that even though we can apologize, and even move on, these two hearts do not look the same.  Once we say hurtful words, or treat people in a hurtful way, we can never completely make all the wrinkles it makes on someones heart go away.  We then spend some time reflecting on the activity and how important it is for us to choose our words wisely so we do not "wrinkle" each other's hearts.

First Grade

Students watch a social story called Howard B. Wigglebottom and Manners Matter.  Students love the Wigglebottom stories!  This lesson teaches students the importance of using manners and respect toward others and the need for self-control and how to practice it.  Students learn that having manners  also helps us to make and keep our friends.  The following are some reflection questions we reviewed together in each first grade class.  Please take time to review these again with your students at dinner time, in the car, or during homework time:

What should you say when you ask for something? (Please)

What should you say when you receive something from someone? (Thank you)

What do you say if you sneeze? (Excuse me)

What do you say if you break something? (I'm sorry for breaking _____)

What do you say if you need to get by someone? (Excuse me)

What do you do after you use the restroom? (Flush and Wash Hands)

What do you do when you enter your classroom in the morning? (Good morning or Hello)

What do you do if you have something to say to 2 people who are already talking? (Excuse me)

What should you say if you hurt someone's feelings? (I'm sorry)

What should you say when you want to get up from the dinner table first? (May I be excused)

Kindergarten

This was an especially exciting visit because it marked the first time I got to meet our Kindergarten friends for the school year!  I like to keep my first visit with KG very simple.  Students learn about who I am, as the school counselor, and what my role is here at school.  For many of our kindergarten friends, it is the first time they've ever met a counselor before.  I talked with students about how I help them learn to use the LIFESKILLS of friendship and problem-solving.  I also share that we will talk a lot about feelings when we are together this year and in the years to come.  I remind students that all feelings are okay to have no matter what they are, even the feelings that are uncomfortable like 'Sad' or 'Mad'.  I teach students that even though it's okay to feel sad and mad, we still have to make responsible choices no matter how we feel and that can sometimes be hard to do but I am here to help.  I give each kindergarten student a coloring book to work on about what a school counselor does.  Students also get to meet "Clemy Cat", our sweet little kitty puppet who LOVES kindergarten!!  Make sure you ask your student what happens when they give Clemy Cat a love pat on his head!